"There is a ruin in each of us.  A place where "what once was" lives on like an echo, haunting the landscape of our lives with its weathered foundations.  Abandoned,scavenged and dismantled by time, the ruin is the holiest place within our heart.  It is the ways in which we have been broken that have earned us a standpoint.  It is in our life's absences that a wild longing is born.  The place that has been ruined is a temple in which to worship, to throw down our grief and our forgetting, and praise what remains.  After all, these remains are the evidence of how greatly we have loved and should be venerated as the legacy of survival that they are" 


Credited to Toko-Pa by a friend on Facebook (not authenticated though!)

Living as a Hollow Bone

Some things we just "know", others we learn over time, others we never quite get!!  This week I had an amazing manifestation in my body of what was going on in another's life, definitely on both an energetic and physical level, showing the interconnectedness of the web of life.  This happens to me quite often, it is something I have consciously chosen, I see it as an aspect of my healing gift.  It opens a channel through which emotions, struggles, pain etc can be shifted, very often bringing the required healing or release to the other, even if they are not aware at the time.

Image found on eddiemullins.com

As healers, especially those just realising their gift, we need to be cognisant of this empathic quality.  Left unbridled it can wreak havoc with one's self.  Especially if you are of a caring, compassionate nature (which healers often are!!), it is easy to "take on" others pain and sorrow.  So taking good care of your own space, mindset and energy is vitally important as you practice your gift of healing.  It is not necessary to be open to all that so many are experiencing, but as we hone the gift, we are more able to keep our own vibration high but still be of service.  As each drop in the ocean makes up for the greater part, so each of us is a spark of the Divine and as we heal and shift our own “stuff” the Universal Consciousness also heals and shifts.  In my experience this is so needed at this point of our evolution.

So if you feel out of sorts, have physical symptoms that are inexplicable, just pause for a moment and ask, “Is this mine?” Your Inner Voice, Higher Self, The Spirit within, will always have the answers.  We should just listen and take heed.  If it’s yours, be gentle and loving to YOU and allow yourself whatever time and rest to overcome.  Pay attention to your body and messages from Spirit.  If you sense it is not yours and choose to allow yourself to be a Hollow Bone for the healing of another, do what you need to do in a mindful way.  The benefits are out of this world!

For the one who shifted so much this week, in the words of the great peacemaker, Mahatma Gandhi, “My wisdom comes from a greater Source. I salute that Source within you.  Let us work together for unity and love.”  Brave and courageous Being, you shine brightly!  Yes, you have more work to do, we ALL have more work to do.  I am always there for you, a Hollow Bone and a heart filled with love.

Image from Buck Mosley

I Love Lemons

There's something about lemons .. they seem so "common & garden" but they are magical...like figs!  So, from when I bought my first piece of land with my former husband Theo, way back in early 1980s, I have always planted a lemon and fig tree on the land, if there were not any.  I haven't always enjoyed the fruits of them though!  I was thrilled when I arrived here in Grootkloof to see 2 humungous lemon trees, dripping with beautiful, ripe sunshiney fruit.

I went to town!  Made lemon curd, cordial, L'hamd Marakad (Moroccan Preserved Lemons using salt), juice in a glass of hot water each morning to alkalise the system, zesting, drying and storing in sugar or salt.  They are just so yum and giving!  One of my favourite treats is the delish curd with double cream Greek yoghurt (forget all that unhealthy low fat rubbish!!), with home-made blackberry coulis.  Add meringue if you want it to be a dessert!

beautiful baby!

mmmmmm ... what shall we make??!!

made from the freshest of ingredients, all from the farm!

sun-drying the zest

L'hamd marakad, excellent addition to stews, salads, soups, vegetables

All Things Bright & Beautiful, All Creatures Great & Small

Life on the farm remains a great joy!  Here's what I've seen through the lens this week.

It looks like a skwatta but Big Brown Hen and her brood are dry and warm 

Breakfast sunbathe

Yummy local sourdough bread and homemade strawberry jam
(I had fun practicing the focus on my camera!!)

I love this shot ~ it's one of those seldom seen moments and even though I was on my way to Bredasdorp 55km away, and in a hurry, I had to stop for the scene

Have passed this farm a few times and always want to take a pic ~ today was the day!

Die Mannetjies Sterk

Grootkloof in spring

Gypsy, the newcomer ~ defiant, sharp-witted, rebel, free spirit ~ refuses to go into the roost at night ~ I understand her :)

Lacy winged phantasmagorical creature

The Magical road to McGregor, my favourite valley

OK!! So I don't kill, heck I even scoop ants out of the bath before opening the tap.  But these babies can deliver a really bad bite that requires quick medical attention.  So I said I was sorry and Doom'd them.  Isis, the all-seeing, one-eyed cat, was sniffing all around the chair in my bedroom, so I knew there must be something there.  I cautiously tipped it over (could have been a snake under it!!) and saw this mother.

Decided to check the second chair and lo and behold, another nasty.  The one on the right is definitely a brown button spider, with the tell-tale orange mark on under belly.  I'm not sure of the one on the left ~ maybe someone can identify for me.  I thought it might be a sac spider - very large bulbous body but, not so sure.  Spiders and I have a love hate relationship - I have a scar on my back about 3cm long, which looks like a stab wound, and that is from a sac spider. I cannot describe the pain - a necrotic area the size of a saucer, I kid you not.  It was horrrrrrible!  So they are not allowed into my space ~ it's survival of the strongest, and that's me with any weapon or a can of Doom

Young 'un enjoying Sunday lunch of creeper leaves

The Lovers

Unusual skies over Grootkloof

Isis, watching Zsofie going crazy

Zsofie going crazy

Zsofie the Photogenic

She hates it when I leave without her :(

Thanks for popping by! Please leave comments - it makes it all worthwhile!

Honouring Our Ancestors

Family and my roots have always been important to me.  I love and honour my parents and forefathers.  In recent years, my healing work has brought me to Family Constellations.  This is a gentle, yet very deep healing of what Lisa Iversen describes as "Ancestral Blueprints" in her book of the same name.  I quote from her website ~

" "Orders of love" is the term used by Bert Hellinger to name these powerful forces that influence our lives.  These orders are natural, hidden laws.  They involve belonging, give and take, and injustice and atonement.  When balance within the family soul is restored, the same love entangled with illness, difficult fate, and suffering, can be transformed into a force for healing.  Many families operate in ways that violate these natural laws because of deeply unconscious patterns, loyalty to family secrets, and tragic losses that make grieving difficult.  Yet there are universal truths that connect all of us to one another, even while each family member has its own story that makes it unique.  By restoring balance in our ancestral blueprints, personal suffering and unhappiness can be transformed into a force for healing."

Being involved in representation in FC work, I saw the most incredible releases of pain and anger.  I saw healing.  And it opened my heart even more to connect the dots in patterns and tragedies, even within my own extended family.  I recognised how generational "curses" were evident in people's lives, without them even recognising it. Once again I saw that thread of the Web of Life that connects us all and how the ripple touches each one.  After all, indigenous tribes have honoured and respected ancestors for millenia.  Here in Africa, the Aboriginals of Australasia, the First People of the Americas, all take into consideration the lineage and voice of the grandfathers and grandmothers when they attend to illnesses or unhappy dispositions in their tribe.

But I digress!!  This is a tribute to my Mom & Dad.  Today is a fitting day to do so!! Their coming together is like a fairy tale, but that I will keep for another blog post. My Dad is Johan Philip van den Heever and my Mom is Johanna Phillipina van den Heever (née Harding).  That in itself is quite amazing!  Phil returned to the Light today, 33 years ago, just before the birth of Kyle, my son, his 10th grandchild and the first from his laatlammetjie, oogappeltjie daughter ... moi!! It was obviously a very sad time .. I can remember in the finest detail the scene in the nursery school where my Mom was teaching when I brought her the news.  He had been in frail care for a few months after suffering a stroke, and, being a tall well built man, my Mom in her tiny 5'4" stature was not strong enough to lift him if he perhaps fell again.  From that moment for at least 2 weeks, the days are very blurred.  Losing my Dad at the age of 25, just before I was about to present him with another grandchild, was probably one of my most painful life experiences.

It feels like yesterday but also a lifetime ago. My Mom was without the love of her life for 19 years.  Not once in that time did she even consider dating another man.  A love story made in heaven, for sure, and one that inspired me. I am acutely aware of my Mom & Dad and know that they are just out of sight, on the other side of the veil.  A smell, a sound, a joke, a song, a sweet memory ... all still remind me of them.  We are not separated.  

Thank you for that, especially today ♥♥♥

circa 1952, indicative of Phil's great sense of humour

26 March 1938 l to r  Justus Harding (Mom's oldest brother, Mom's best friend name unknown, Dad, Mom, Marie (Mom's older sister), Ben Jovner her husband and in front, my darling aunt, Irene, youngest surviving sibling of my Mom)  Forty five years of wedded togetherness ~ I personally never saw or heard my folks fight.  Yes, they had some disagreements, but they were devoted to each other, and of a generation that made marriages work.  

My Mom ... no idea what year .. can anyone help please?

circa 1944 when I was no yet even a twinkle in my dad's eye!! My brothers from l to r Phil, Steve & Rich.  I was always very loved and they were just the perfect brothers for a young girl.  They teased me, but I loved that and it made me strong. By the time I was 6 years old they were all out of the house and I think they still see me, at 58, as their baby sister :)  Love you guys ♥

The beautiful Phillipa, with her black hair and blue eyes, thanks to our French Huguenot heritage.  A sensitive, gentle soul, my Mom received a bursary to study as a young girl - not so common in those days.  She was a devoted wife and mother, did not always have it easy as one of 9 surviving children and one of the older ones. My gran was, out of necessity I am sure, very strict.  Mom was a teacher.  I also know she was a natural healer and intuitive - did some darn right crazy things to get rid of warts and other ailments :)  I love, cherish and respect her in all ways.  My daughter Raine has her beauty, dark hair and turned up nose ♥

Mom & Dad, looking very handsome at my brother Steve's wedding in 1969

Ouma & Oupa Harding, Mom's folks - farmers originally from Bethlehem in the OFS.  One of the very best years of my life was when we all lived on their farm near Gwelo, in what was then Rhodesia.  My gran was a strict but very loving and capable woman.  Her home was filled with delicious preserves, breads and good food.  I spent more time with my Oupa down at the dairy!!  It was my task to feed the calves.  I remember so well his incredible connection to the herd of about 40 Jerseys.  They each had a name and when he called them, they came to him.  A man deeply connected to God and the earth, nights around the dinner table, reading from the Bible by the light of a paraffin lamp, recounting the day's events, telling ghost stories are some of my sweetest memories.  Thank you! ♥
(sadly I do not have any photos of my father's parents - if any family maybe come across one, please let me have it :( ) 

Dearest, darling Dad as I remember him taken in about 1965 at work.  He was charming, well loved, enjoyed telling a funny story, devoted to my Mom and the best dad I could ever have asked for.  His father had been boarded due to a war injury, I think, and at the very young age of 15 my Dad went out to start an apprenticeship so that he could help his family.  He started as a compositor, in the good old days when newspapers were still put together in printer's trays with tiny little letters arranged with a pair of tweezers!!  He was very stable and stayed in the industry all his life, mostly working night shift, retiring as a sub-editor.  This meant that I didn't get to see him as much as I would have liked, but I never felt deprived of my dad's love and attention.  Mom & Dad, you are in my heart and live on in my beautiful and amazing children and grandchild.  Thank you ! I love you! ♥♥♥

A Day Out in My 'Hood

Another day where I am acutely aware of my blessings!  Out and about in the Overberg, taking the sho't left to McGregor, travelling on dusty roads running parallel to the majestic Riviersonderend mountains, my day was filled with synchronicities and signs.  Thank you!

This may just be that place that I have been looking for...at the end of a road that goes nowhere...no supermarkets...no banks...beautiful, gentle energies and the sentinals that I love most in a 360º view.

En route from home I snapped these delights ~

My mountain - home is in the kloof just in front of the big one :)

Synchronised moos

Delicious lunch of a simply divine double baked cheese souffle and chocolate nemesis followed by a peaceful read at Temenos retreat

Spotted in McGregor Valley

Breathtaking skies through the roadside grasses and more animals performing synchronised posing!!

siiiiiggggghhhhh :)  My cup runneth over ❤ ❤ ❤