Family and my roots have always been important to me. I love and honour my parents and forefathers. In recent years, my healing work has brought me to Family Constellations. This is a gentle, yet very deep healing of what Lisa Iversen describes as "Ancestral Blueprints" in her book of the same name. I quote from her website ~
" "Orders of love" is the term used by Bert Hellinger to name these powerful forces that influence our lives. These orders are natural, hidden laws. They involve belonging, give and take, and injustice and atonement. When balance within the family soul is restored, the same love entangled with illness, difficult fate, and suffering, can be transformed into a force for healing. Many families operate in ways that violate these natural laws because of deeply unconscious patterns, loyalty to family secrets, and tragic losses that make grieving difficult. Yet there are universal truths that connect all of us to one another, even while each family member has its own story that makes it unique. By restoring balance in our ancestral blueprints, personal suffering and unhappiness can be transformed into a force for healing."
Being involved in representation in FC work, I saw the most incredible releases of pain and anger. I saw healing. And it opened my heart even more to connect the dots in patterns and tragedies, even within my own extended family. I recognised how generational "curses" were evident in people's lives, without them even recognising it. Once again I saw that thread of the Web of Life that connects us all and how the ripple touches each one. After all, indigenous tribes have honoured and respected ancestors for millenia. Here in Africa, the Aboriginals of Australasia, the First People of the Americas, all take into consideration the lineage and voice of the grandfathers and grandmothers when they attend to illnesses or unhappy dispositions in their tribe.
But I digress!! This is a tribute to my Mom & Dad. Today is a fitting day to do so!! Their coming together is like a fairy tale, but that I will keep for another blog post. My Dad is Johan Philip van den Heever and my Mom is Johanna Phillipina van den Heever (née Harding). That in itself is quite amazing! Phil returned to the Light today, 33 years ago, just before the birth of Kyle, my son, his 10th grandchild and the first from his laatlammetjie, oogappeltjie daughter ... moi!! It was obviously a very sad time .. I can remember in the finest detail the scene in the nursery school where my Mom was teaching when I brought her the news. He had been in frail care for a few months after suffering a stroke, and, being a tall well built man, my Mom in her tiny 5'4" stature was not strong enough to lift him if he perhaps fell again. From that moment for at least 2 weeks, the days are very blurred. Losing my Dad at the age of 25, just before I was about to present him with another grandchild, was probably one of my most painful life experiences.
It feels like yesterday but also a lifetime ago. My Mom was without the love of her life for 19 years. Not once in that time did she even consider dating another man. A love story made in heaven, for sure, and one that inspired me. I am acutely aware of my Mom & Dad and know that they are just out of sight, on the other side of the veil. A smell, a sound, a joke, a song, a sweet memory ... all still remind me of them. We are not separated.
Thank you for that, especially today ♥♥♥
" "Orders of love" is the term used by Bert Hellinger to name these powerful forces that influence our lives. These orders are natural, hidden laws. They involve belonging, give and take, and injustice and atonement. When balance within the family soul is restored, the same love entangled with illness, difficult fate, and suffering, can be transformed into a force for healing. Many families operate in ways that violate these natural laws because of deeply unconscious patterns, loyalty to family secrets, and tragic losses that make grieving difficult. Yet there are universal truths that connect all of us to one another, even while each family member has its own story that makes it unique. By restoring balance in our ancestral blueprints, personal suffering and unhappiness can be transformed into a force for healing."
Being involved in representation in FC work, I saw the most incredible releases of pain and anger. I saw healing. And it opened my heart even more to connect the dots in patterns and tragedies, even within my own extended family. I recognised how generational "curses" were evident in people's lives, without them even recognising it. Once again I saw that thread of the Web of Life that connects us all and how the ripple touches each one. After all, indigenous tribes have honoured and respected ancestors for millenia. Here in Africa, the Aboriginals of Australasia, the First People of the Americas, all take into consideration the lineage and voice of the grandfathers and grandmothers when they attend to illnesses or unhappy dispositions in their tribe.
But I digress!! This is a tribute to my Mom & Dad. Today is a fitting day to do so!! Their coming together is like a fairy tale, but that I will keep for another blog post. My Dad is Johan Philip van den Heever and my Mom is Johanna Phillipina van den Heever (née Harding). That in itself is quite amazing! Phil returned to the Light today, 33 years ago, just before the birth of Kyle, my son, his 10th grandchild and the first from his laatlammetjie, oogappeltjie daughter ... moi!! It was obviously a very sad time .. I can remember in the finest detail the scene in the nursery school where my Mom was teaching when I brought her the news. He had been in frail care for a few months after suffering a stroke, and, being a tall well built man, my Mom in her tiny 5'4" stature was not strong enough to lift him if he perhaps fell again. From that moment for at least 2 weeks, the days are very blurred. Losing my Dad at the age of 25, just before I was about to present him with another grandchild, was probably one of my most painful life experiences.
It feels like yesterday but also a lifetime ago. My Mom was without the love of her life for 19 years. Not once in that time did she even consider dating another man. A love story made in heaven, for sure, and one that inspired me. I am acutely aware of my Mom & Dad and know that they are just out of sight, on the other side of the veil. A smell, a sound, a joke, a song, a sweet memory ... all still remind me of them. We are not separated.
Thank you for that, especially today ♥♥♥
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| circa 1952, indicative of Phil's great sense of humour |
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| 26 March 1938 l to r Justus Harding (Mom's oldest brother, Mom's best friend name unknown, Dad, Mom, Marie (Mom's older sister), Ben Jovner her husband and in front, my darling aunt, Irene, youngest surviving sibling of my Mom) Forty five years of wedded togetherness ~ I personally never saw or heard my folks fight. Yes, they had some disagreements, but they were devoted to each other, and of a generation that made marriages work. |
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| My Mom ... no idea what year .. can anyone help please? |
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| circa 1944 when I was no yet even a twinkle in my dad's eye!! My brothers from l to r Phil, Steve & Rich. I was always very loved and they were just the perfect brothers for a young girl. They teased me, but I loved that and it made me strong. By the time I was 6 years old they were all out of the house and I think they still see me, at 58, as their baby sister :) Love you guys ♥ |
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| The beautiful Phillipa, with her black hair and blue eyes, thanks to our French Huguenot heritage. A sensitive, gentle soul, my Mom received a bursary to study as a young girl - not so common in those days. She was a devoted wife and mother, did not always have it easy as one of 9 surviving children and one of the older ones. My gran was, out of necessity I am sure, very strict. Mom was a teacher. I also know she was a natural healer and intuitive - did some darn right crazy things to get rid of warts and other ailments :) I love, cherish and respect her in all ways. My daughter Raine has her beauty, dark hair and turned up nose ♥ |
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| Mom & Dad, looking very handsome at my brother Steve's wedding in 1969 |
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| Ouma & Oupa Harding, Mom's folks - farmers originally from Bethlehem in the OFS. One of the very best years of my life was when we all lived on their farm near Gwelo, in what was then Rhodesia. My gran was a strict but very loving and capable woman. Her home was filled with delicious preserves, breads and good food. I spent more time with my Oupa down at the dairy!! It was my task to feed the calves. I remember so well his incredible connection to the herd of about 40 Jerseys. They each had a name and when he called them, they came to him. A man deeply connected to God and the earth, nights around the dinner table, reading from the Bible by the light of a paraffin lamp, recounting the day's events, telling ghost stories are some of my sweetest memories. Thank you! ♥ (sadly I do not have any photos of my father's parents - if any family maybe come across one, please let me have it :( ) |
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| Dearest, darling Dad as I remember him taken in about 1965 at work. He was charming, well loved, enjoyed telling a funny story, devoted to my Mom and the best dad I could ever have asked for. His father had been boarded due to a war injury, I think, and at the very young age of 15 my Dad went out to start an apprenticeship so that he could help his family. He started as a compositor, in the good old days when newspapers were still put together in printer's trays with tiny little letters arranged with a pair of tweezers!! He was very stable and stayed in the industry all his life, mostly working night shift, retiring as a sub-editor. This meant that I didn't get to see him as much as I would have liked, but I never felt deprived of my dad's love and attention. Mom & Dad, you are in my heart and live on in my beautiful and amazing children and grandchild. Thank you ! I love you! ♥♥♥ |
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